She's Not You
by RiAddison
Summary: Draco is married to Astoria, but he's never gotten over Hermione...because Astoria is not Hermione. Journal fic...technically CANON but considered DRAMIONE.
1. Chapter 1

Hi there! This is a fanfic that I've had written for a while, but I had never posted it. It's my first fic that is written as a journal with flashbacks. It is harder to write than it sounds…I hope you guys like it! I don't mind constructive criticism but please don't be rude. Oh and this is loosely based off the song "She Ain't You' by Chris Brown. I think, I wrote it so long ago that I don't remember…lol. Oh, and its technically canon, since Draco is with Astoria, but under Dramione since he wishes he was still with Hermione.

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter characters…

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January 1, 2004-Dear Journal,

Its New Year's Day today, and Astoria is insisting on dragging me to a bunch of boring parties thrown by her friends. As if this day isn't already horrible, but now I'll have to sit and smile and listen to a bunch of airheaded, blonde bimbos talking about plastic surgery and the latest gossip about who's with who and who wants to be. Just the thought makes me long for that incredible New Year's Day three years ago. I was with Hermione then, it was our first and turns out only New Year Day. Man, I miss her…

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_FLASHBACK:_

_Draco had been feeling out of sorts all day, and thought maybe visiting Hermione would take his mind off things. Apparating to her flat, he knocked on the door and let himself in when he heard say. Walking in, he found Hermione perched precariously on a ladder trying to hang a banner that said 'Happy Millennium!'._

"_Babe, please be careful," Draco said, walking over to hold the ladder, "Remember Halloween?"_

"_That was only because Seamus was drunk and knocked into the ladder, it had nothing to do with me," Hermione replied matter-of-factly as she finished. Turning to stand more securely, she slipped and landed in an unceremonious heap on top of Draco._

"_Ugh, you may look like a pixie, but you weigh more than a ton of bricks," Draco grunted, as he maneuvered from under Hermione and held a hand out to help her up._

"_Well, it's not my fault you just happened to be in the way, now is it dear?"_

_Chuckling, Draco snagged her hips and pulled her to him, "Well I guess we'll both live, now can I have a get well kiss?"_

_Hermione kissed him sweetly, but pulled away before he could take it further, "I have things to do…"_

"_Aw, but I was just getting started," Draco teased, trying to capture Hermione's lips again, which she deftly avoided, causing the blonde to pout, "Aren't I more important than 'things'?"_

"_Of course, but I need to get these things done by tonight," Hermione replied primly._

_Grabbing her around the waist before she could escape, Draco nuzzled her neck, before kissing his way up to her ear and whispering, "Can't it wait?"_

_Shivering, Hermione turned and wrapped her arms around him and whispered back, "Of course it can wait, I have more important things to do."_

_END FLASHBACK_

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There won't be a New Year's like that again, I lost the one person who could make me feel like that. I wish I could turn back the clock, but sadly, I'm stuck with the choices I've made. But I know the feelings I had with her can never be replaced, she was my one and only. But enough feeling sorry for myself, Astoria is calling.

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I hope you guys liked it. Review! Please? 0_0 *puppy dog eyes*


	2. Chapter 2

Another chapter, hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimer: Really...

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February 13, 2004-Dear Journal,

It's the day before Valentine's Day, and I still haven't gotten anything for Astoria. I know she's expecting this big romantic present, but I really have no idea what to get. The only other person I've ever gotten a present for was Hermione. She was easy to shop for, she didn't care about the latest clothes or the most expensive jewelry. I remember once I bought her an anniversary edition of 'Hogwarts, A History' and she thought it was the sweetest gesture in the world. But I'm sure Astoria wouldn't be interested in that, she's nothing like Hermione. It reminds me of the time I took Hermione on a broom ride…that was the best ride I've had…

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_FLASHBACK:_

"_Where are we going?" Hermione asked, trying to peek from behind Draco's hands._

"_You'll see, and peeking won't help you," Draco said, chuckling._

"_But I don't like surprises…" Hermione whined._

"_Just trust me, you'll like this one, I promise…" as he said that, Draco stopped, removing his hands from over Hermione's eyes._

"_It's a broom…" Hermione said bluntly._

"_Thank you Hermione, you've just proven why you were the smartest witch in school…" Draco replied dryly, earning a poke in the ribs from Hermione._

"_Well, what's so great about you're broom…?"_

"_We're going for a ride," he said, mounting it and gesturing to Hermione to sit in front of him._

_Eyeing the flying contraption, Hermione sighed, "Fine, but just so you know, I really hate flying."_

"_It'll be okay, your with me…I'll keep you safe," Draco whispered in her ear as he wrapped an arm around her waist._

_Kicking off, Draco chuckled at the way Hermione was gripping the arm that was around her. When they had reached the height when everything was considerably smaller than it had been, Draco relaxed and pried Hermione's hands off._

"_Draco, this is really high," Hermione said, sounding scared out of her mind._

"_Love, we're barely off the ground…" Draco replied._

"_What do you mean barely off the ground?! We're 100 feet up in the bloody air," Hermione shouted._

"_It's a small point, beside I'm with you, remember. And we both know I was the best Quidditch player at school, so flying with you isn't tough at all…" Draco said arrogantly._

"_Honey, I love you, so it pains me to say this, but Harry was the best Quidditch player at school while we were there…" Hermione responded._

"_Is that so…?"_

_Giggling at the mock offended tone in his voice, "Don't worry, I'll make it up to you later…"_

"_I'll hold you to that…" he replied lowering his voice, which caused her to shiver._

_END FLASHBACK_

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That was the best broom ride I've ever had, none have compared since. Of course, Astoria is terrified of broomsticks, the one time I tried to get her on one she ended up biting me…which she denied later. They're so unlike…Hermione was so real and refreshing, while Astoria is so cool and superficial. Don't get me wrong, Astoria isn't a bad person; she's just more just concerned with her looks and status than anything. Things would have been so different if Hermione and I had never broken up. I'd be enjoying myself, instead of spending half my time away from home and the other half tolerating the useless prattle that comes out of my wife's mouth. Well, I must go, I have a meeting soon.

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Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter…duh!

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June 5, 2004-Dear Journal,

Today's my birthday…I'm turning twenty-four. I can't believe its been seven years since Hogwarts and the end of the Second Wizarding War. I can't believe it's been almost three years since I last saw Hermione. Most people would tell me I'm pathetic to still be holding a torch for someone after four years, but most people didn't have the best thing in the world and lose it either. I remember all the presents she gave me…but they pale in comparison to the one priceless gift she gave me.

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_FLASHBACK:_

_Draco apparated back home after an exceptionally hard day at work eager to have a drink and relax. Opening the door and walking through, he was ambushed from every angle by people blowing annoying noisemakers in his face and yelling "Happy Birthday" at the top of their lungs. Pushing past the throng of well-wishers Draco found Hermione sitting on a stool waiting for him._

"_Did you plan all of this?" Draco asked, placing his hands on her shoulders._

_Smiling up at him, she asked, "Most of it, did it surprise you?"_

"_It did, though with you I'm finding I shouldn't be surprised," Draco replied, running his hands down her arms and capturing her hands in his warm ones. As he was leaning down to kiss her, he was bumped from behind. Turning, he started to yell, "Hey, watch it! Oh, its you Blaise…"_

"_Hey mate, some party, huh? You're woman really knows how to throw them…" Blaise said winking at Hermione. _

"_Oh, stop pretending you didn't help Zabini," Hermione told him._

"_Spoilsport…I wanted to see if Draco here actually believed you'd done all this."_

_Rolling his eyes, Draco interjected, "Blaise, as my birthday wish I'm going to wish for you to stop talking…which I don't think will happen since you seem to have quite a passion for it."_

"_Hey, I'm offended," he said, miming a fake wound, "But seriously you have a winning girlfriend, and speaking of winning, I'm going to go see if I can win me some."_

_The couple watched as their Italian friend swaggered over to a tall leggy blonde, it was a seconds later that said blonde slapped him. Chuckling, Draco turned back to Hermione and asked, "So where were we…?"_

_Draco lowered his head, but was yet again interrupted, this time by Pansy. _

"_Draco, I'm so glad I ran into you," Pansy said, situating herself a bit to close to the blonde._

_Draco replied, "And why is that?"_

_Fluttering a bit and laying a hand on Draco's arm, she simpered, "Well to wish you a 'Happy Birthday' of course, silly."_

_Clearing her throat, Hermione stepped up and linked her arm through Draco's and replied, "I'm sure my boyfriend is very glad to have such a good friend."_

_Draco grinned at Hermione's emphasis on the word friend; she really was something when she was jealous. Shaking off Pansy's hand, he said, "Hermione is right, I'm glad we're such good friends, and hopefully we can stay that way."_

_Pansy glared at Hermione as Draco's meaning sunk in, turning her nose up she flounced off in a huff._

"_Okay, this time no one is going to interrupt us…" Draco said, leaning towards Hermione._

_Putting a finger up to his mouth and stopping him, Hermione replied, "Well I think we should wait until after the party, I mean everyone did come here to see you."_

"_But Hermione," Draco whined, but agreed when he saw the stubborn look on her face._

_After everyone had left, Hermione walked up behind Draco and wrapped her arms around him. Turning, Draco lowered his head and touched his lips to hers. Gasping as Draco's tongue ran along her upper lip, she opened her mouth which Draco took as an invite to slip his tongue inside. As their tongues battled, the air around them sparked with electricity and Hermione found she was having trouble breathing. Draco groaned as desire shot through him, he wanted her and he wanted her bad. Pulling her snugly against him, Hermione could tell he wanted her. Smiling, she pulled away, and told him to come find her in 10 minutes, and skipped up the stairs. _

_Ten minutes later, Draco was gingerly walking up the stairs, which was quite hard to do in the condition he was in. Opening the door to his room, he saw no one inside. He was about to close the door when Hermione's hands appeared and grabbed his tie, pulling him inside. Looking down at her he about swallowed his tongue, she was wearing some kind of silver, nearly transparent nightgown. Pulling his head down, Hermione kissed him passionately and whispered, "Happy Birthday baby…"_

_END FLASHBACK_

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That was the best present she gave me that day, I couldn't believe that she loved me enough to give me the one thing she had been saving. But she had, and that was the day I told her I loved her. I remember that she cried, tears of joy is what she told me. She'll never just how much that day affected me, we didn't just bond physically, but emotionally as well. With Astoria its nothing like that, it's just physical, our hearts aren't connected like Hermione and I. Looking back I wish I hadn't made the mistakes I made, and then maybe I would never have had to start keeping this journal to hide my true feelings. Heaven help me if Astoria ever found this…

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Review!


	4. Chapter 4

I like this chapter, the day that's on the journal is my birthday! Lol, hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: Yep, its true, I don't own Harry Potter.

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September 7, 2004-Dear Journal,

Astoria and I got in a fight today…I can't remember what it was about now. Something foolish, like my absence from her last soiree, I know I should be supportive as a good husband should be, but they're so dreadfully dull. Even so, it made me think about the day when I first asked Hermione out, now that was a productive bout…

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_FLASHBACK:_

_It was a peaceful day at the Hogwarts Lake, that is until two raised voices forced the peacefulness out. _

"_Shut up, you prick, you wouldn't know real loyalty if it bit you in the arse!" the angry brunette shouted. _

"_Well, there's loyalty and then there's just plain ignorance, but whatever, I was simply trying to help," Draco bellowed back._

"_Well who said I needed your help, ferret," Hermione yelled._

"_Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you," Draco cried, dragging Hermione to him and snogging her passionately. Hermione kissed him back, the past year of ignored sexual tension releasing and pouring out. The outdoors warmed a couple degrees as the two continued to kiss, unaware of exactly what they were doing, only knowing that the release felt heavenly. After a while, the two broke apart, the tension abated for the moment. _

"_What exactly was that," Hermione asked breathlessly, looking as stunned as Draco felt._

_The blonde blushed, a totally unheard of occurrence, "I t-think that was a kiss…wow…"_

"_Well, now what," Hermione asked, looking at Draco._

"_Um, well I guess I should ask you out…so what do you say, want to go out with me?" Draco asked, a bit of his usual arrogance shining through his awkwardness. _

"_Really that's your solution to this…I thought for sure you'd tell me to forget that kiss ever happened and then leave to wash the Mudblood from your mouth," Hermione quipped sarcastically._

_Draco clenched his teeth a bit as the pleasure from the kiss started to disappear, "I hardly think it's fitting to call you a Mudblood after that kiss, Granger, especially since I enjoyed it. But whatever, if you want me to call you a Mudblood then fine!"_

"_Oh so you ask me out, yet you still call me Granger, real nice way to win me over," Hermione shot back, knowing she was being irrational, but the kiss had had a funny effect on her._

"_I only called you that because you're being a bloody stubborn witch!" _

"_So now I'm a bloody stubborn witch, well you're a frustrating, aggravating wizard!" Hermione yelled back._

"_Sheesh, why did I even ask you out, I should," Draco was cut off as Hermione's lips smashed against his. The two kissed feverishly, almost angrily, until Draco pulled away, "Does this mean 'yes'?"_

"_It will if you shut your bloody mouth and kiss me again…"_

"_As you wish," Draco complied._

_END FLASHBACK_

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Now that I think about it, I can't remember exactly what started our fight, but at the time it didn't really matter. I chuckle at how stupid we were back then, and how it took us so long to figure out that we fancied each other. But that's in the past, all I can do it remember and wish it was different.

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Review!


	5. Chapter 5

For some reason this chapter was the hardest to write, I don't have much experience in writing marriage proposals. I hope you guys like it.

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, you know the drill. :)

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October 19, 2004-Dear Journal,

I remember the day I asked Astoria to marry me, it was the perfect day as my parents would say. To me it was dreadfully cold. It had always been expected of me that I would marry her, but it's not what I wanted to do. Unlike with Hermione…I remember when I asked her to marry me, it was perfect to me.

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_FLASHBACK:_

_The day was warm and sunny, as Hermione stretched and opened her fridge. Peering inside, she found a note on the jug of milk. Opening the note, it read:_

"_Hermione, I need to talk to you. Go to the place where we first kissed."_

_Hermione smiled as she read the note. Forgetting breakfast, Hermione got dressed and apparated to Hogwarts. As she walked down to the lake, Hermione reminisced about how she and Draco had started dating. When she got there, Hermione didn't find anyone, but she did find another note. This one read:_

"_Hermione, I love you. Go to the place where you spent most of your time at during school."_

_That was easy, as she ran up to the library. Walking through the shelves of books, she recalled all the times she had spent at the library during school. As she came to her favorite old studying spot, on the table there was another note. It read:_

"_Hermione, this is the last note. I promise. Come to the place where you became a Gryffindor. I'll be waiting."_

_Hermione rushed towards the Great Hall, a huge smile on her face, she couldn't wait to see Draco. He was the most important person to her. Walking through the doors, she gasped as she saw the Great Hall decked out in Gryffindor and Slytherin colors. Looking around, she realized all her and Draco's friends were gathered. Finding Harry and Ron in the crowd, she smiled at them. They smiled back and motioned towards the spot where every student gets sorted. Suddenly breathless, Hermione walked over to Draco who was on one knee and had a great big grin on his face._

_As she stood in front of him, he began to speak, "Hermione, this school is where we first met each other, though we didn't get along at the time."_

_Hermione chuckled at that, it was so true._

_Clearing his throat, Draco continued, "These past couple years with you have been amazing. I love you and I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you how true that is. Will you marry me?"_

_Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes, as she stared at Draco. Jumping in his arms, she shouted, "Yes, yes, yes!"_

_The couple kissed as their friends cheered in the background. It had truly been the perfect day._

_END FLASHBACK_

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I will never forget that day, or the way it made me feel. Hermione was the only person who has ever made me feel that way, or act that way. When I was with Hermione, I was a different person. Well, I should go now. I've been spending too much time writing in this journal, and Astoria is beginning to wonder what I'm doing.

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Review!


	6. Chapter 6

Last chapter/entry, how sad, I hope everyone one liked this fic, even though Hermione and Draco didn't end up together.

Disclaimer: …don't own the Harry Potter characters…

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December 5, 2004-Dear Hermione,

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from, and I don't blame you. I heard you were getting married to Weasley, the lucky bastard. I wish I had written this sooner, I've tried a dozen times, but I never could go through with it. I never wanted to break up…it tore my heart out when what we had ended. Even after all these years I still love you…you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess at the time I was too much of a coward to grovel at your feet and beg you to forgive me and give me a second chance. I see now that it was a mistake. I should have crawled over a street full of broken glass to get you back. I guess we were just meant to be a bad romance. I'm married now, in case you hadn't heard. She's beautiful, but she's nothing compared to you, she doesn't have the same spark for life like you do. I hope you haven't lost that…it would be a shame if you have. If you haven't then I hope Weasley appreciates it, and doesn't take it granted like I did. I want you to know that if I ever hear that he broke your heart I will personally kick his arse. I know I have no right to say that after the way I treated you, but I can't help it. Well I didn't write this to make threats, I wanted to tell you my feelings before you got married, not because I think you'll change your mind and come back to me. But I didn't want to regret never telling you and it wouldn't feel right telling you after your married. I think I will always love you, Hermione, but since you've moved on, I think its time for me to as well. I won't try to contact you again, and I wish you the best with Weasley. As for me, I'm going to try to be happy with Astoria, but she will never be you.

Always with love,

Draco Malfoy

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Please review! 3


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